"Ev'ry so often we long to steal
To the land of what-might-have-been
But that doesn't soften the ache we feel
When reality sets back in." -- Elphaba, Wicked
Just as Elphaba states, imagining the "ifs" leads no where. In fact, from what I've seen the "if only" attitude can have great negative effects.
I remember as a kid we had this golfing game on our computer. I loved that game and was always asking my Dad if I could play. However, as a really young kid I wasn't the best at aiming, so my golf shots (especially the putts) were never very good. That's how I became introduced to my favorite part of the game, the mulligan option. By using this my last shot didn't count and I could redo it. I had a great adoration of that button. As a kid I thought it would be so cool to have one of those buttons in real life. How sweet would it be to be able to redo a certain moment in time. I mean how many times do you think, or hear from others, "if only I had done this..." or "what if this had happened...". What would it be like if we got to live out those ifs? Visit that "land of what-might-have-been".
Quite a few years after I first thought about this mulligan for life's situations I had a situation of my own. I was in a serious car accident and sustained a major brain injury. I had to relearn how to write, walk, read, and communicate properly. Now that was definitely a time where I contemplated the "ifs"! If only I had looked better before I crossed the intersection. What if the car had had air bags? But as I focused on the "land of what-might-have-been" it didn't change reality. I still had to face the music, as it were, and figure out how I was now going to play the music of life.
As I look back on these experiences I can see the power of that on little word, IF. Though it only has two little letters it's implications extend far beyond the sentence it's used in. During my recovery from my accident focusing on the "ifs" merely left me depressed and unsure of myself. If I had made a mistake there, then wasn't I likely to make a mistake again? The trust I had in myself and everyone around me, including God was questioned with the little word if. Not only did reality set back in after contemplating the ifs, I was now the weaker because of it. What's happened has happened and though we may not like it we do have the resources and power to overcome it.
So, lets not give a word power over us!
